Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens

In 1998, Sean Covey published a popular self-help book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens. This was an incredibly popular text and was named as one of the American Library Association’s “Popular Paperbacks for Young Adults” in 2000. Additionally, schools across the country incorporated the text into their core curriculum.

Nearly 20 years have gone by, however, and while the book no longer tops best-seller charts, the ideas within are as important as ever. In order to be a highly-effective teen, one must embrace seven habits:

1. Be Proactive

If you are proactive, you recognize the things you can change and act to do so. You are in charge of your life and how different scenarios play out. You think before you act. You understand that negative events may happen, but you also know that how your response and reaction to such scenarios is up to you.

Let’s say you spent hours upon hours upon hours writing an essay for your English course. You proudly turn in your paper, confident that you earned a high score. When the paper is returned, you see a red C- at the top. How do you respond?

If you are reactive rather than proactive, you may slam your paper upside down, grumble under your breath, and complain about the teacher to your peers, your parents, anyone who will listen. If you embody the first habit and are instead proactive, you may read through the teacher’s comments, meet with the teacher outside of class for additional feedback, and request a revision opportunity in order to show your knowledge and understanding.

The C- happened regardless, but your reaction to it makes all the difference.

2. Begin with the End in Mind

If you begin with the end in mind, you have goals, you have a plan. When you have these in mind, you have more direction and motivation, and the choices and decisions with which you’re faced become easier.

Let’s say, for instance, you want to become a pediatrician. As soon as that is the “end” you have in mind, you have much more direction and can work backwards: you know that prior to medical school, you will have to go to college. You know that in order to get into college and accepted into the pre-med program, you will have to do well in high school. You also know how expensive your post-secondary plans are, so you know that you should take advantage of any AP, IB, or dual-enrollment options your school provides in order to enter college with credits under your belt. Additionally, you know that the cost of college can be reduced by earning scholarships, so you know that you should participate in extracurricular activities and volunteer opportunities in order to boost your resume.

When you begin with the end in mind, it is much easier to do what you need to in order to get there.

3. Put First Things First

If you put first things first, you are able to manage your time well. You also have strong willpower and able to stick to your convictions. You avoid procrastination, slacking, and saying “yes” to everything — and instead prioritize.

Let’s say, for instance, you have a huge project due in two weeks. If you do not put first things first, you run the risk of procrastinating; maybe your friend asks if you want to go to the movies, another asks if you want to head to the mall, you have a soccer game, you binge-watch a new show on Netflix, you accept the extra shift at your part-time job, etc. Pretty soon, it’s the night before the project is due, and you are scrambling. Or, you decide that it is not worth the stress and blow it off completely.

If you put first things first, you make a checklist of what you need to do to accomplish that project, and you make a timeline of when each item needs to be finished in order to complete the entire piece. You carve out a little time each day to complete the tasks, and the project is done sooner rather than later — in a much calmer, more stress-free manner.

Putting first things first is yet another way to accomplish the “end” that you have in mind.

4. Think Win/Win

If you think win/win (as opposed to win/lose or lose/lose), you have a positive attitude toward life and have a strong foundation for getting along well with other people. You believe that everyone is equal, that no one is superior or inferior. You also seek relationships that are mutually beneficial: you care about others and want them to succeed, and you care about yourself and your success, too.

Let’s say that you and your best friend are trying out for the varsity soccer team. She made the team, and you made junior varsity. In a situation like this, it is difficult not to get jealous, but it is important to maintain a win/win mindset. Consider this: your friend may have a skill set that the varsity coaches want, and she can help you develop that particular technique or quality. Additionally, you will improve your skills by getting more playing time on the JV squad. If you did not have a win/win perspective, it would be easy to compete with your friend, compare yourself to her, and form toxic resentment, which would negatively impact your relationship.

Thinking win/win comes from within, and it’s a necessary mindshift for positive relationships.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

If you seek first to understand and then to be understood, you are a deep listener and practice mindful inquiry, asking the speaker to tell you more, inquiring deeply into what they are saying, and seeking to hear their perspective. You are a strong and empathetic communicator, one who listens first and talks second.

Let’s say you want to extend your curfew from 11:00 to midnight. If you seek first to understand and then be understood, you will ask your parents why they set your current curfew the way that they did. Through listening to your parents’ rationale, you will likely better understand their perspective and realize that they are not simply being “unfair.” If you are still interested in asking for an extended curfew, you will take into consideration their thoughts and then offer your suggestion, hoping that they will also listen to understand in return.

Seeking first to understand and then to be understood is the most important step in forming strong and sincere interpersonal relationships and the prime aspect of quality communication.

6. Synergize

If you synergize, you collaborate and work together to create a better solution than you could have by yourself. You communicate effectively to leverage differences and to create mutual trust and understanding. You are open-minded and strive to find better, newer, more innovative ideas through teamwork, realizing that you will go further and faster with others rather than alone.

Let’s say you have a group project for one of your classes, and you are paired with three students who you do not know well. In order to synergize, you follow a series of steps: define the problem or opportunity (the project), seek to understand their strengths, offer your strengths, brainstorm ideas regarding how to use a combination of all members’ strengths, and create a new way to accomplish the task at hand. This final product, then, will likely be far better than anything any of you could have created independently.

Synergizing is an absolute must in order to be effective academically or professionally, but it is also imperative in building strong relationships with others.

7. Sharpen the Saw

If you sharpen the saw, you keep yourself sharp so that you can handle whatever life throws at you. (If the saw is not sharp, you cannot cut down the tree, no matter how hard you try.) This means that you create balance in four areas of life — your body, your brain, your heart, and your soul.

Let’s say you spend 100% of your time on your academics. You wake up and go to school, you come home, you spend hours reading and researching and doing homework, and then you go to bed. Monday through Friday, you wake up and repeat. On the weekends, you may sleep in a little bit, but then you get started right away on the next big science project, literature analysis, etc. This is not a balanced life, and you are bound to burn out quickly. In order to sharpen the saw, you need to incorporate time for your body (exercise, sleep, nutrition, etc.), your heart (family, friends, “me” time, etc.), and your soul (meditation, journaling, prayer, etc.).

Sharpening the saw is perhaps the most important of the seven habits, as if you do not have balance, nothing — including you — will be effective.

With these seven habits, you can become a more effective teenager. It can be overwhelming to focus on all seven at once, so start small. Pick one habit to work on and add it to your daily life. Once that habit feels natural, choose another one and continue building from there. Life is a journey, and the growth you experience is just as important as your goals.

As you are growing personally and stepping closer to your professional life, it’s essential to actively record and highlight these traits that define you. Utilizing KudosWall’s AI Resume Builder is a great way to effectively capture your skills, achievements, and experiences in a streamlined manner. This powerful AI tool not only helps you organize your accomplishments, but also assists in tailoring your resume to better align with your career aspirations. By documenting your journey, you create a compelling narrative that showcases your growth and prepares you for future opportunities. So, take advantage of this resource to enhance your professional profile and make a lasting impression in your field.